If I were the sort of person who counted things, I would say I have six working days left, 13 days left until I leave and no time left before I realize my life is fucked. Unfortunately, I am the sort of person who counts things. Obsessively. I hate math and struggle with basic skills like division and subtraction, but I count constantly; things need to be sorted and organized in my mind. Preferably in groups of three or five, please. So at any given time I will be able to tell you how many hours there are left until something, or how many days, working days, weekends and weeks there are until something happens. This practice, while irritating for everyone, makes me feel safe and secure.
At this time in two weeks, I will be in Georgia (USA). This started out as kind of a joke, to be honest, but now it's very real and happening really soon. Remember the time I failed a psych class with a 49 and as a result couldn't graduate, and that bitch essentially ruined a year of my academic life? And when I was one hundred and ten percent angry, depressed, devastated, fucking pissed, vengeful, humiliated and just "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST ON A GOD DAMN BIKE WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?!" about the whole situation? In other words, I was a complete drama dyke (never a queen- I'm far too manly) about my academic life and how it impacted my self image and self esteem? (Hey- some people have their bodies, their hair or talents dictate how they feel and see themselves physically. I have school- I'll look like garbage, but if I got a "good" mark on an assignment, I'll feel "pretty" inside. And that's fucked up.)
Where was I? Feeling like shit. Right. So I started joking that I hated UPEI and my life enough that I obviously had to run away to the Southern US. But then Ann was all like, "you could do an exchange. Seriously." (while she was probably thinking "this girl has to suck it up and stop bursting into tears in my office". She's much too awesome to say so, though.) After looking at the list of schools that UPEI has exchange deals with, which ones were in America and which of those had women's studies, I landed myself in Georgia. I suppose I was the right amount of pissed off, depressed and determined to make the decision that while UPEI was absolutely wonderful for four years, I'd like to go somewhere else for a little while. Several months, dollars, emails and approximately 50 tonnes of paperwork later, I'm headed there in two weeks. No idea what will happen, but I have a place to live, courses to take and four blank notebooks- that's all I need.
This post was going to be real and relevant to the blog, but I sort of got carried away with posting how this situation came about. The next post will be about feminist martians... I write that mostly for myself because I will forget in like 10 minutes.
