I'm watching "Say Yes to the Dress" on TLC. This episode is part of a new series- it's still in New York at Kleinfeld's, and is still about "finding that perfect dress, that you know is yours" and blah, blah, blaaah. But it's about "plus size brides". I'm not sure what qualifies as "plus size", in terms of clothing sizes for Kleinfeld's, but apparently the brides are like another species to be studied by all those "normal" or "skinny" types.
As someone who identifies as big and has to wear "plus sizes" especially when it comes to wedding attire, I say FUCK YOU to this show. Yeah, I should eat better and do more physical stuff... and I might be thinner, I'm not "the other body". My body is mine, and does not need to be constantly compared to "normal" sizes when I go shopping, or try on clothes. And yeah, it is condescending, rude and hurtful when someone says
"We have to be really super sensitive of their feelings"
,in regard to body size. Since when did my or any other person's body come with inherent meaning? You're a fucking dress consultant, Randy, you should always be considerate of people's feelings when they're on that pedestal, analyzing every single part of themselves. And even if they aren't absorbed by their own reflection, it's common human decency to be nice to people. Especially when those people are in your store and are potentially buying something expensive from you.
I should probably point out that yes, I know I'm not on this show, but it's something I relate to and feel comfortable putting in first person, no hiding behind academic topics or words. I type for myself, but maybe others are with me. I'm not looking for confirmation on this, I'm just saying. Fat people aren't these delicate china dolls that need to be handle with special care. My weight doesn't make me have fragile feelings, I'm a God damned human being, I should be treated like I have feelings, regardless of the numbers on the scale.
Randy says that among the number of "plus-size" brides they serve, only one or two are comfortable with their size, happy to try on and wear the dress they picked. And it's demonstrated as like this fucking fairy tale, victory for the underdog when a plus-size, fat girl, big, bigger is happy. It's like she's supposed to be happy in spite of her weight. Maybe more women would be happy with their dress shopping experience if we weren't pitied when we have the audacity to walk out the door.
I know what show you are talking about! It is incredible how women, because of their size, are seen as a minority with a disability or something. It is absurd. Another show to consider is America's Next Top Model. I don't know if it airs in Canada, but, Tyra Banks always has teeny tiny women between the ages f 18-24 (typically) who want to be super models. Every few seasons, a bigger girl (as Tyra says 'She would brake barriers and could be a plus size super model'. While the other judges say she is too fat. ) I am always taken back when such a woman is on the show because, well, they rock! They are strong willed women who top the skinny gals mentally/emotionally who they are competing against. Sadly, someone over 110 has not won America's Next Top Model. I wonder why?
ReplyDeleteMarianne, I love this. And I have to comment on the insufferable irony that 'Baby Got Back' came on my iTunes as I was reading this...
ReplyDeleteKhristina, while I share your dislike for shows like 'America's Next Top Model,' I have to disagree when you say, "they are strong willed women who top the skinny gals." I think that, like what Marianne was discussing, that is reducing identity to the body. Yeah, some bigger models might be stronger mentally, but you can't say that just because they are bigger that they top the skinny girls. It goes both ways.
...Marianne, to conclude: yesss, mmmm, quite. <3