*I don't feel the need to justify my desire to be pregnant and give someone a child on this blog, so I'm not posting about that. This is about something else. I may go to that subject later, but who knows?*
I have this thing where heterosexual sex scares and disgusts the bah-jeebus out of me. Like, I know some people like it, but I'm kind of terrified of the whole penis thing. (Or hole-penis thing. Ha.) But I want, at some point, to be pregnant and I'm looking into surrogacy. It's something I've wanted to do for a long time, and now that I'm not 17, it's really something I can consider. So tonight I've been looking at surrogate information in Canada and even looked at the "official" application. Wow. Some of the assumptions that are made make me want to write a paper about it... or at least throw down a few point the blog, even though I'm working on another post. Looking at the information was supposed to just be a break, but there's a reason "Marianne has no attention span" has its own label. So, let's go, shall we? You can view the actual application here.
Would I be willing to be a surrogate for a Jewish couple? A non-Caucasian couple? A same-sex couple? Umm, alright, this is just awkward. Are they assuming I'm white, non-Jewish and straight? Well, they're 2 for 3, but that's not the point. What if I weren't? This is when it gets awkward. Do you approach that in the application? I'm guessing you can't get indignant on their asses if you actually want to be a surrogate. Are we assuming that non-Caucasian and Jewish people are inherently unfit parents? Do people actually check "no" to these questions? Do people wanting to be surrogates think "I'd love to do this for a couple or a person. But not if they're Jewish.". What would the person reviewing the application think? They've probably seen it all, but still. Are they assuming that everyone applying is white, non-Jewish and (probably) straight? Or are these the "desirable" surrogates? Do I really want to know the answer to these?
Also, they keep asking me about my partner or husband, and assume I've already had at least one pregnancy. Which is something they actually look for in an applicant- someone who has had kids before. Not entirely sure why, but I'm not going to deconstruct it or rant about it, in the hopes that there is some actual reason for this. I wonder how much not having a partner or previous pregnancies will impact this process should I decide to attempt it soon. I'm sure the application will change in the next few years, so if I decide to wait a few years, the info they want might change. I'm hoping being young, single, queer and never having experienced a pregnancy won't be strikes against me, but they very well might be.
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